Monday, November 2, 2009

FUCKED MY SHIT UP...

So, I went to the trampoline house again tonight for my friend Ryan's birthday...within my first four jumps - i was down.
My ankle was burning and all I wanted ti do was scream.

Looked down at my ankle that I couldn't move and crawled off the tramp.
As of right now its pins and needles on the top of my foot, I can't pull it up but I can wiggle all my toes, and there two gash like marks around my ankle that look like the skin was pulled apart...but there's no blood.

Conveniently, i leave at 11am today go home to Palm Springs and the coming Friday I'm supposed to drive back to Mammoth.
All this may change now that i am unable to walk.

I didn't go to the hospital because i have no insurance. I'm waiting to go when I get home.

Both my Mom and I know this is pretty bad due to the fact and way I was crying.
A. I never cry
B. if I do its only after a long time and due to the fact that i can't ride

So, the fact that i was balling on the phone from the pain...not good.
My mom even said, "Missy, you've never cried like this." I told her I know and I'm just really scared - which I am.
This is going to jeopardize my whole season, my job, my living situation...everything.
Not only am I ultimately fucking up my deal, but Brooke, Nolan, and Daryl might have to find another person to live in the house super last min. Hopefully, if that turns out to be the case, Josh will still be looking for a place and would want to take it over.

I cant sleep and the Advil just isn't doing the job. Kumara had told me, "Everything happens for a reason, God loves me, and I'm going to be ok." I told her, "perhaps this is what I get for not going to church in a long while." we shared a laugh and then I was once again focused on the pain. As i was laying on the floor elevating my ankle on a chair, I began to think about what Kumara had told me...perhaps this was all for a reason. for example; I will now have a reason to sit and make my resume for that ESPN snowboard blogger position EPIC. Also, it will give me all the time i need to make an awesome audition video for The Real World.
Whatever this "reason" maybe...it blows ass since it keeps me from riding.

i think the swelling has gone down just a bit over the past few hours, but it's still sore to the touch and I can't pull my foot up...the worst part is the pins and needles on the top of my foot - that is what's concerning me the most.

I'm pretty sure that I've torn some ligaments which in recent experience (right knee ACL and right Shoulder ACL) just sucks. If anything, hopefully I'll only be out for a couple months...I think I could handle that but anything more... I might as well just stay the fuck home in the desert.

I'm going to try and find a comfortable position again and see if sleeping sets in. Most likely wont, but i cant try.

bummed.

1 comment:

j said...

nice cankle...

seriously tho, those claw mark looking gash things are fucked. hopefully it's just a bad sprain.